Stop Agism and Shapism - Tie up an older man/a chubby now (or create a blog about it) !

I've just been on a tour of what the internet has to offer as far as men tied up, men in bondage, captured men and whatever. And guess what - the men (or should I say "boys"?) all have something in common (that is, besides being tied up). They are all young. Young and slim. Or young and buff. But believe me, no one over the age of 35 ever seems to get tied up on the internet. At least on commercial sites. And even for the under-35 set, some conditions do apply, i.e. no fat boys. Yup, as far as the internet is concerned, when gay bondage pops up, it's pretty boys all the way. And believe me, it ain't pretty.

If I sound angry when writing this, it's because I am. The pernicious effect of that overflow of cute is to make men who aren't cute by those narrow standards feel ugly and undesirable. Recently, an absolutely yummy chubby tattooed papa wrote to me that he felt older men in the leather/SM lifestyle looked pathetic and that he didn't want to be a part of that - and since he'd just turned 70, he was giving up on taking part in the scene. Now, where can he have picked such an idea, I wonder?

It is true that many men express their preference for younger/slim partners, often in pretty insulting terms. But there are also those, like me, who profess a liking for older/heavier partners. Why are we always overlooked? Could it be because we are supposed to be a "minority", not even supposed to exist, certainly not in our right minds ("How could you fuck a man who looks like THAT?" To which I'd reply : "With great pleasure.") But nobody has ever taken count, have they? When was the last time you saw a survey of gay men about their sexual preferences regarding age and body shape? Who knows what people might actually like when left to their own devices, without being dictated what they have to like?

Because don't be fooled by the attitude that says "we are only giving the consumer what he wants". The consumer doesn't get what he wants, he gets what he can get. Would the "bound twinks" sites really go bankrupt overnight if they were to feature one chubby model out of, say, ten? I don't believe it for one moment. And nobody can prove they would, for no site has ever tried.

For a number of years, a good friend of mine was editor of a magazine covering gay porn video. He made a conscious effort to include movies with Black and Asian actors in his coverage. Nobody complained. So what shall we call the attitude of the editors before him, the ones who never included anybody but white actors? It was racism, pure and simple. And when a site purports to show bound young men or tied up bodybuilders but deliberately excludes chubby young men or older bodybuilders, then said site is agist or shapist.

The lack of images of older men in bondage on the web has been the main reason for me creating this blog and reviving a neat Yahoo group called OlderMenBoundAndGagged under the new name MatureMenBoundAndGagged (look it up!) This last one has been a huge success and there would probably be even more members if some people weren't too dumb to understand that when I ask an age statement for admittance in the group, I mean it.

Empowerment is not something you can buy. This is a call to arms. If you feel there's nothing for you on the net, create something. If you agree with what I wrote, do something about it. Create your blog, your website. Stop relying on the half-assed products on the internet. Use the internet to make it more friendly to people with similar tastes. Or just to show that you're there and you count.